Procrastination And Other Excuses For Living

A friend of mine recently posted some words from poet David Whyte, which you can read in the original on his Facebook page here.

For myself, I definitely resemble this remark! Procrastination can be in fact a way that I ruminate over stuff, and can lead me to write things I really like.  And at the same time I am discovering that some of my procrastination is about fear of creating something I don’t like, or having difficulty leaving room for painful feelings in ways other than being mindlessly busy. But 3 weeks ago I started a new morning practice which I’ve refined to this:

I awake between 6:30 and  7:30 in the morning, do my early ablutions and get dressed while the computer starts up.

I then prepare a bowl of muesli and fruit, usually cut up apples with rice milk. this I eat in silence with a candle, trying as best I can to savor the food in between my chattering mind.

I then sit in silent meditation as measured by an iPhone app with a bell a the beginning and after 15 minutes and 3 bells at the end. Then I get up and go to the computer.

This hasn’t yet got me into writing immediately, but during the later morning, afternoon and early evening I notice that I am writing more than I have in a long time.

Some of this is about doing less of the mindless busyness and more of the real procrastination inn which I am actually mulling over stuff that feeds my writing. Don’t ask me how I know the difference, but it is definitely there. And this year I gave myself permission to stay home from Christmas Eve candlelight services. I needed to be alone, and watched It’s A Wonderful Life then listened to Silent Night several times. This gave me the space to grieve, something I’ve done too little of in my life.

That’s my story today and I’m sticking to it. Until it changes. 🙂